Oh the last week has been absolutely almost intolerable in my life. I feel absolutely hopeless. I keep asking God what in the world He has put me here for. The absolute only thing I do is go to work and then be at home. On Sundays I go to church. That is absolutely it. I have NO friends outside of work and even here Madd and Lori are my only friends and I absolutely ONLY see them here at work. My social life...well WHAT social life?
So I've been SO depressed the last 7 days and then I got a bomb dropped on me on Friday that made it even worse when I thought it couldn't get worse. Not that I don't want you to know, I just don't feel like going into detail telling what happened. Just that my job sucks and it continues to suck even more everyday.
So, I had a 3 day weekend which I enjoyed tremendously. Now, I have a cousin who I grew up with. We have been like sisters who like each other rather than cousins. We spent the night at my grandparents house almost every Friday night and there were a LOT of summer nights that I spent the night at her house.
So now we're adults. Our friendship followed us to adult hood, but it seemed to die when she got married (9 months before I got married). I would call her...she wouldn't call me back. She never called me and we never saw each other outside of family functions. The final straw was when she invited me to her house for Super Bowl Sunday in 2003 and she 100% ignored me the ENTIRE time. I was SO hurt. She had another friend over who she paid complete attention to. So I didn't talk to her again until October when she called me to tell me that she was going in the next day to be induced (to have her baby, obviously) and I confronted her about my hurt that she has completely thrown me by the wayside since she's been married. I gave her specific examples and she promised to change. Almost 4 years later, NOTHING has changed. But I haven't quit trying to befriend her. I still call her. I've babysat her kids. I still invite her out or what have you. And yes...she calls me on ocassion. ONLY when she needs something. Whether it be a babysitter or to borrow something or she needs information.
So, I've just decided to write her off and quit trying. I can only be hurt so much. So, Sunday she practically ran across the church building to come give me a hug. She said "I just want you to know I love you." I just said thanks. So, she started talking to me and told me she moved a week ago. I told her I knew that, but not because she bothered to tell me. I told her I didn't appreciate her not telling me anything. She used the excuse "I just don't know when you work." That never stops her when she needs something. I held my tongue, though.
Moving on...she asked when I will be home this week because she was giving me her barstools that I want for my new house because she doesn't have anywhere for them in her new house.I told her not until Saturday. Well then I remembered that I had Monday off, too. So, I called her later and told her I'd come get them so I could see her new house.
Well, the reason she has a new house (she's renting now) is because she had to foreclose on her last house.You wouldn't believe the debt this girl carries.It took her losing her house to learn her lesson. She is finally willing to take responsibility for her behavior (in spending) and she's letting me help her. I am SO excited to be helping her. I feel like this will draw us closer together so we can be friends again. This, however, is NOT the reason I'm choosing to help her. I'm doing this because I love her and care about her. And, she's bogged down and stressed out with this debt (as I can imagine). So, I took 2 of her credit card bills and just paid them off for her. They were small piddly amounts that she couldn't pay. But, I just thought it was ridiculous that she had them adding to the stress. It was an easy thing for me to do. And, they just bought a BRAND NEW Trailblazer last summer that is just sucking every last dime. They can't even drive it because they can't afford the gas. I mean...how crazy is this? But they can't get a different car because nobody will give them a loan for a used car. I guess only for a new one because they are sure they'll repossess it and I guess they want to have something worth their while in the end.So, I talked to my husband and told her that if they are willing to try for a different car again...I would be willing to co-sign for her. But there are a couple of very strict stipulations. One...it has to be HER name and her name ONLY on the title. I absolutely WON'T do it if she puts her husband's name on it.He's a creep and they've separated twice. I don't trust him to keep up the payments if they split up again. and then I'll be the one that is screwed. And EVERY payment has to be made. If I get one call that there's a missing payment, I'm going over to take the car. Because if I'm making the payments...I'm going to be driving the car. I told her to talk to her husband to see if he'd be willing to do this. And I'm going over again on Thursday to go over some bills with her.
So ALL that to say that I am actually excited that perhaps I'll be able to make a difference in her life. I told her I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think she had learned her lesson and if I didn't love her.
As I see it, though, there is no end to her debt. I don't know how she sleeps at night. But I'm not sure she really does.